Philosophical

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS FROM A iPHONE

“The universe only works one way”Jay Z 

“I had written something else I was going to share with you today about “Game”. Its been awhile since I had done a post on one and felt it was time to dust off the old cobwebs on that subject. I am half way completed and plan on releasing it soon. Until then, I have decided to release this one until then. I wrote this a few days ago while I was really just bored and decided to let my mind move after the above quote by Jay Z inspired me.

It at times goes off the rails but if you are used to reading my work that is nothing new. I wrote this all on a iPhone but of course edited it a bit on my laptop. I really don’t know why I am releasing this (Besides the fact I wasn’t done with my “Game” post) but, I feel good about it.

Its nothing groundbreaking as far as topics I have talked about before. However, I still wanted to let this fly due to how I wrote it. Its a gimmick post basically. Plus, the name that I came up with last night is pretty cool and I just had to use it. I think i am becoming way too honest in my posts. Anyway, until my “Game” post is ready, please enjoy” –Modern Day Pricus

Whatever is going to happen, is already in progress with, or without your consent
Wondering about the “Whys” and the “Whos” of a situation will do you no good other than to complicate matters worse by trying to swim backwards up a stream.

What you “could of did” or thinking about “next time this will happen” are merely distractions to fill the space of the universal truth we share but can’t touch, see, yet ironically hear and to some extent feel: Silence

Silence from the perspective of seeing we all are simply on a large blue boat which goes in circles, moves forward, and yet at the same time remains in the same spot never really changing.

How you feel bares no mind to a universe which lacks indifference to not only the most unbearable pain you can go through but also to the name we as a…”people” give it.giphyWe call it the “universe” and says it has “planets”, “stars, “galaxies”, etc but, it cares less and continues onwards. Names are just another way of trying to keep the idea of the past alive. 

A past in which from the future seems better now but, in that moment, thoughts while in the moment, could not be had. When we are in it, we are in it. Only away from it can we make a analysis of what occurred. Yet, as I spoke about before, the world has none of those.

Sure, history is recorded. Memories are remembered. Feelings remain permanent. And pictures have the propensity to live forever, but, to be honest, those things have no barring on right now. This train keeps moving never looking back.

We get older. Our families age. Our friends develop. Our ideas shift or evolve. Our, priorities change. Our lifestyles shift sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. Our awareness of being inside of this “Self Driving Car” becomes more apparent as we see some things no matter how hard we try to control it are just, well, out of our control. 

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Race, gender, age, religion, beliefs, philosophy, politics, people who we are a fan of, believe in, etc. I see these things as children while we play the role of the helicopter parent refusing to let our “children” go off to college. These things give us something colorful to look at in a all white everything prison.  I get why we fight so hard to keep these things alive. In times of crisis, people in their moment at their most honest and vulnerable selves will always choose to want power as opposed to being powerless…. Always. 

It’s funny. Any time I hear people say: “You can’t do that” it’s always after the fact of the action having already been taken place. How can it “Not be done” when it’s already happened? What does that say about “Right” and “Wrong”? What does that say about the past and the future? What does it say about our reactions to a uncontrolled moment being one of anger or shook? Did that Jay Z quote above needed to be said and brought into the collective awareness to inspire me to write this latest post for you today or, in the back of my mind, in the back of, our mind, do we already know that life can care less about what we want. It just keeps, operating. Just, as, a machine would. 

“The sky is blue”. “The grass is green”. “Dirt is brown”. “My posts are starting to become repetitive “… Who, exactly says what we label things as is correct. Why am I saying “Correct” as opposed to “Wrong” as if there is a win and loss column to this. 

Kids, animals, handicapped people, people based on their gender, race, age, and religion have been abused, tortured, and killed because of their associations. Yet, remove the names, concepts, and attachments of the past aligned with those people and animals and, what exactly is left but THIS moment and the ones with Power, vs the ones without. 

Are we ready to deal with our true last and final challenge as a human race. The idea of “No idea” of their being no finish line to race to. If given the choice of controlling your body completely, would you chose to fight back in times of crisis in which your life is in danger in a life or death situation. Or, would you just, let go. Attachments to people, ideas, concepts, etc not only keep our bloodline, past, and future alive but it also keeps us alive as well to keep getting up in the morning. The thing though is, if we, remove everything and just accept THIS moment and nothing else, is that enough?

Are we ready to deal with a all white prison with no color. The universe only works one way as the Jay Z quote highlights. Yet, why then, do we fight so hard to put the toothpaste back in it’s tube trying to go make the universe go backwards. 
More questions than answers as usual. Maybe that’s why my posts have become repetitive. Deep down, I know the answers to all of my problems and curiosity but at least with constant repeats I have something to do. Something to “Look” at despite the emptiness inside

Maybe that’s it. Maybe, we just want control. “God mode” if you will, but then, criticize people that try and achieve that because we believe in a higher power above humans until it doesn’t agree with our beliefs anymore and then start to question the higher power’s “Authority” due to us secretly, at our core, just wanting control of our lives to begin with. Just, not too much of it because then, what we become, will be directly, on our own shoulders. 

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Dropping the “We” angle from this post for a brief, I think those last lines from the previous paragraph above is what scares “Me” the most. The fact being, that all these choices I feel we’re out of my control in life were really, at the end of the day, may be truly mine. May be truly ours. May be, truly, no one else’s except the one person who governs the body we possess from the cradle until the grave. Us, and us alone. 

In closing, I found this Alan Watts video while procrastinating in finishing this existential crisis like post today. Two of them actually. One is about purposeless and the other is suicide which lead me to name this current string of words “Suicidal Thoughts from a iPhone”. Writing this whole thing from a iPhone while life outside continues on outside just caught my attention. It’s funny how things write itself out sometimes.

Here I am, trying my best to put life in a theory or box using a rectangle shaped phone and a bunch of words to express it while things outside in motion are changing at every day, hour, minute, second, and millisecond that we are here.  That is what the video is about not only below, but also above. Life will go on in one direction undoubtedly but, while I’m here, whether liberating or scary, knowing or unknowing, or purposeful or purposelessness, I have a chance to create my own heaven or hell until it’s, over, and time to go….

Until next time. Thank you for your time. I appreciate it always

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Categories: Philosophical

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