“Nobody else matters, but me”
Its untrue what adults used to say when growing up: The universe, does revolve you. And in this case ironically, it revolves around me. You see, nobody else on this planet is more important than my needs. No one else is the main star in this “Movie” of my life but me. My ideas, wants, desires, and pleasures are beyond more paramount than anyone else walking this pale blue dot we all inhabit. When I look in the mirror, all I see is me. Therefore, how do I have time to see through anyone else’s eyes but mine? I am my own best, worst, favorable critic, and, audience to my own show which means there is only one thing left to say to myself: Take it away Sally Fields.
Am I wrong for this mindset? That question right there: “Am I wrong”, even sounds sheep-headed in a world based on survival. A couple of wrong moves and you can end up homeless on the street. Am I wrong for having this mindset of self? Am I wrong for not being “In tune with my star player”?. Am I wrong for being aware that any day could be my last day? Everyone has morals and ethics until they don’t or their kids are starving for food in the middle of the night. Everybody is a upstanding citizen until someone tries to break into their house and put their life at danger. Everybody, is a character, until survival kicks in and the inner animal has to come out and play………Everybody. The line between right and wrong vanishes for pleasures for some, and family for the majority. None the less, in lives in all of us. Which is why as crazy as this will sound: I understand why slavery happened to black people.
People, strangers, family, friends, associates, and everybody else in between at the bottom core of their being is out for one person, and one person only, and that is, themselves. I say this not with pessimism. I say this not with anger. I say this not to stir up a depressive vibe. I say this to tap into (As I have done in the past here) the “Just is” reality we chose to ignore unless you study Zen or Buddhism. When I look at slavery, I am suppose to say “That’s wrong” or “White people were so evil” and “God will punish them all” but, what exactly is that going to do for me or my people?. White people did what they did back back then not because it was “Planned” to happened but because, it JUST happened. There is no “Good” or “Evil” about it. On a more universe level, seeing that from a more adult POV with more maturity I realized that white people did this based on survival and looking out for themselves. What does right or wrong have to do with choosing between living, or dying?
Death. What a interesting concept that is. The death of memories, life, and most importantly, the self. I’ve been thinking about that lately, especially with this latest post I present to you today. I started this post with “Me” as the focal point. Its been this way ever sense I gained a more grounded view of who I was as a person. My faults, ideas, pain, and strengths. Its always been about me, me , me. Which, is cool at first, but, after while, if growth is acquired throughout you’re journey as a person, it gets, old after awhile. Fast. Like, NBA players that win their first championship vs trying to maintain that title year after year after year. Sooner or later I think they realized that the game itself will go on and on and on. There is no limits to championships but there is for the body and spirit once awares of repeated states and begins to express itself through actions. After awhile they start to look beyond the court and ask themselves: “What’s next beyond my own self fulfilment of wins and loses based on a legue of OTHER people’s idea of me?”
This is why Jay-Z’s latest 2017 album release “4:44” is such a important release not just for this post’s content today but for him, Hip Hop, Ageism in Hip Hop, Black america, Black marriages, and more. On that album, to gloss over the full weight of his content on there briefly, Jay Z who is known for his ego driven music (Very vague in description of his work but, I’m making paragraphs not movie scripts) on this album decided to get more vunerable and branch out his introspective ideas beyond just one or two songs on albums like he has been known to do. With a video like this which was inspiration for this post today, he talks about “Putting HIS ego aside when crafting music”. I found that tidbit of information intriguing. The man who calls himself the “Frank Sinatra of Rap” talking about how he has no ego in his music was quite interesting to hear.
To bring it back to his album, on songs like “Story of OJ”, “Family Feud”, “Moonlight”, and most importantly “4:44” the album title track and “Legacy”, Jay Z is reaching beyond his own stats (Somewhat) and talking about life beyond himself. Beyond his awards. Beyond his fame Beyond his celebrity. Beyond, this present. Even with his streaming service “Tidal”, his idea for that site was to make sure artists get paid more for their numbers than Spotify, YouTube, and Apple music were handing out. Point being, like the Jay-Z song “Kill Jay-Z” speaks about on “4:44”, the ego can but only take you but so far. For me in this sense, I have been thinking beyond just my trival needs and am now pondering what will be the memory or idea of me if I am blessed to have had acquire one at the end of my life. To sum this up, a suicide without death seems to be the only thing that can bring me peace. A peace, in which requires hard work that I won’t be around to enjoy….Damn
Family, is important. You’re legacy beyond yourself and what you leave behind is important. What you helped bring to the world is important. This present moment may not offer the instant gratification that you are seeking immediately like a “Like” or “Retweet” in the social media world. It may never come until after you are dead and gone and won’t be able to enjoy. When a celebrity like Michael Jackson died people were in tears shedding blood almost at his passing but yet just a few years ago were making every joke they could about his alleged accusations with kids. Why embrace him after he is not around to hear or see it? Legacy and what you leave behind should be the end goal for all. Hell, even if its bad at least someone in he future will look at that and find a much better way to correct it. Just as Feminism (Some of it) is doing for women, outspoken black people like Dr. Umar Johnson, Dr. Joy De-gruy, Boyce Watkins, Michael Eric Dyson, Lord Jamar, and more are doing for the future of Black america, and just as Game, PUA, The Red Pill Lifestyle, and MGTOW are doing for men.
See, Game gets a bad wrap because it comes off as if it is all about just sex and manipulating women for a selfish gain. Yes, like scenes from this movie “Hitch” shows you do exist. There are guys like Vance in the movie and guys who teach the PUA techniques who present easy and vague formula on how to sleep with women. They do exist. However, that is but the smallest percent of what Game, PUA, The Red Pill Lifestyle, and MGTOW are really all about at their core. The philosophy is deeper than just sleeping with women. For me in this situation for my life, I seen it as a transition phase to reach higher than just hooking up with countless amout of women. As one of my favorite blogs “The Rational Male” showcases with his very, very brilliant blog, it spills over into relationships, kids, and of course marriage. Its more than just getting a quick orgasm and a new number in your phone. That is just the beginner steps if you as a man want to take it further.
Game, PUA, The Red Pill Lifestyle, and MGTOW to the side, my main purpose for mentioning these ideas and lifestyles was to bring it back to my blog (Isn’t this post suppose to be NOT about my ego?) I used to just speak on Game in the beginning of my blog but have not move on, but advanced my curious mind beyond just trying to crack the code of women and relationships which is why Zen became part of my output. For you see, this post, along with my old and now recent thoughts as of late is really about dealing with my mortality and what will be the remains of my existence after I am gone and, I am sure you too the reader has thought of this as well. This is why with anything I do, specifically this blog just as music, movies, and books, I hope it is able to reach someone well after I am gone. This is why I named this post “Eyes, you won’t see” which is a triple play on words. (I) you won’t see, (I’s) you won’t see, and of course, (Eyes) you won’t see.
We, are all in this together whether we like it or not. From the good people all the way to the bad people. Both have their roles to play which help destroy old concepts and ideas and help form new ones to the surface. No wrong color exists. All of this at this moment is for us but at the same time isn’t JUST for us. One of the greatest sacrifices in my opinion is to help those that may not know it, or, who won’t even really appreciate it or deserve it. Me as a black man am able to do things that my ancestors back then could of never even dreamed of doing back when they were enslaved against their will. Same with women, same with men who had no idea how to deal with women, same for the gay community, Trans community, and so on and so on. People’s efforts of the seeds in the past helped grow trees for the future for us in the present to enjoy. Its truly remarkable when you think about it. This is why I am choosing to end my post with a video about Henrietta Lacks. I seen a trailer for her story here and felt this was the perfect way to wrap up this post.
Thank you for your time today. See you next time world