“Nigga fuck all that, tryna go my road
I can take you back nigga, ’round ’04
You can do clown dance, I’ma rob that store
You can paint your face, I’ma kick down doors
I’ma shoot my gun, I’ma free my locc
I’ma sell her tongue, I’ma tan that coke
I’ma dark my lungs, I’ma heal my soul
I’ma stack my bread, I’ma cop that boat
I’ma get them M’s, I’ma whip that ghost….
You can fuck my bitch, you can have my hoe
Get yours, get yours, get yours by any means”
Schoolboy Q (By Any Means)

Politically, there are others out there that are way more knowledgeable than I am. Science wise, there are others out that with a more vast knowledge on the subject than I ever could grasp. When it comes to religion, there are people out there that can break down the many forms of it as easy as I could my knowledge of WWE from 1999 to 2002. On Game, there are many PUAs, bloggers, and men of just sheer wisdom and natural vibes that can elaborate more on the “Man vs Women” cat and mouse chase than I could ever share with you the reader. I can go on but, you get the jist. Point is, I say this because this next blog post is merely a, idea that I have had for a while. A idea that really isn’t “Mine” nor has no business being defined but, as with Zen or any other concept in life, had it not be written down in the past, the future may have suffered for it in the present now  by having nothing to believe in. Hell, you can say that about anything to be honest. Basically, if you are looking for something more “Intellectually Established”, this blog is not always the place to be. Just as Women and Black men being allowed to vote would sound crazy to both sexes and all races from the past today, I’m trying to explore new territory even at the risk of looking and sounding crazy. 

My point (again) is, all I can really offer is my own confusion to the mix. I have spoken about this before and called it “The Design”. Today, I want to explore this “Idea” more with you and add some extra depth to it which, I won’t lie, won’t be as easy to blog about it and explain as clearly as I see it in my head. Which means in its present time it will be like trying to explain to a slave owner from the past the idea of a Barack Obama. At one time the thought of a free black family without being in chains would of sounded foolish to both the white man, and the black man that he owned. Crazy ideas which at their core is not crazy but really, just lacks the backing and support from the people, gets left in someone’s skull until death for fear of being made to look silly and downplayed by the rest of society who are comfortable at being a “Number 1 and 2”. My idea is not even my idea. Its more close to Zen’s idea but really, it doesn’t even belong to it. Point is, my idea to all of the issues we as a race of people (All races) have ever faced first requires us to admit one thing: We, are all pieces of shit

We are the bloody tampon clamped together in the trash bin  next to the last night’s dinner, which rests across from the ball of tissue paper full of virgin sperm from the youngest son again for the 3rd time this week. We are the booger you secretly pick when you are alone and pull your finger back to see if its green, brown, or a mix of blood and dark matter. We are the shit you encounter with a bitch after you eat her ass for the first time and realize she had taco bell with extra sauce from a few hours ago before meeting you. Or, at least your tongue does. We are all the hard, wet, and struggle shit that comes out of our assholes each day before we get up and use our fingers to flush a toilet with a metal handle that probably hasn’t been cleaned off in years, or worse, never. We are the feeling in your stomach when you find out your boyfriend or girlfriend has cheated on you. We are the worse feeling when you find out the baby you have raised with your wife is not yours, or when the man you were suppose to spend the rest of your life with end up getting another women pregnant. The dirt in your fingernails. The smashed bug under your shoe. The stains on the public bathroom. The first time a rag is used on a woman’s bathroom. We, are nothing but the crumbs on a piece of bread in the Wonder bread factory of the universe. 

As I have said before this idea doesn’t belong to me, nor does it belong to Zen and, if you were to have seen the movie from the above clip to start this post and think it belongs to “Fight Club”, it doesn’t even belong to them. Yet at the same time all three of these things connected but separate are still talking about the same thing. In that sense, you can see it as more so a collaboration. Meaning, as great as “The Avengers” have been for Hollywood, what would they be without the fans, director, internet, general public, die hard fans, screenplay writers, set designer, script writers, comic books from the past, etc. Its not just “The Avengers” its them plus several other pieces. “Rouge” can not be accomplish from anyone. Even the terrorist needs someone that can create the guns and ship them. All this is to say that even when someone reaches “God mode” it is still a result of the followers he or she gains. “No one man should have this Power” to quote Kanye West. Heck if you look at The story in the Bible on a technical level, Jesus Christ being being born is a result of Eve, Adam, the snake, and the many more “Flaws” and “Errors” of the Men and Women before him in the book that lead up to his arrival. The drug dealer that sold the drugs to Steve Jobs that day is the reason you are able to connect online and read the thoughts of me, and everyone else around the world as he was able to make the internet usable. Essentially what this means is, the idea of a “You” or “Me” is irrelevant to the grand scheme of things. It would be like buying a car and only paying attention to the cars giving it credit yet ignoring the rest of the parts on the car.  At its core to quote the video from: “YOU”, are not special”


So, what exactly is this “Crazy Idea” that I keep babbling about? What is this, “Thing that doesn’t belong to us” spiritual shit I keep on subtly repeating? What, exactly am I even fucking talking about. Do I even know? Well, first we must look at the term “Crazy idea”. You see, you know what these words are based on the “Memory” you have used  been using since remembering when Christmas was, or who your Mother and Father looked like. You know what these words “Sound” like based on the connection with the memory you have had since birth. Hence why you know what a Dog sounds like and what a Cat sound like. You know what these words “Look” like based on reading and writing since you were young. And, you understand how many letters it took to create these “Words” so therefore, you understand the function of what “Numbers” are, and, of what numbers do. Basically, this “Idea” is only a “Idea” because of the “Patterns” that have been passed down to us since the beginning of time in which we will do the same by passing on to the next generation of people growing up now. Once again, YOU, nor ME, or US is not “Special” or exclusive from the system as a whole. This idea is US. This idea is, ALL of us. Therefore then, does that not mean we dictate the direction and pace of it? If so, where are we going? Do we even have a direction or place we are trying to get to? Or, as the Earth does in space, are we just at a stand still going in a constant circle?

Where exactly are the birds “going”? When you look at a butterfly or any insect for that matter, why or, where are they flying to? How about the clouds in the sky above us. Is there a destination they are trying to stop and land at? Do dogs and cats have any idea about the money system we live on everyday of our lives. Do they or, would they, know who the presidents were if one of them weren’t their owners to begin with? Does a flower compete with a another flower as it grows besides it? Does a leaf know eventually it will fall and die? Does anything besides humans and our creations know anything about death? As Alan Watts once said: “The sound of rain needs no translation”.  You see, I refer back to the “Is” section of one of my first posts I ever created two years ago called “Positively, nobody gives a…”. For you see, trying to put a story, concept, idea, narrative, or meaning behind the random acts and creations we as humans formulate or are apart of is a trap and waste of time. When something happens, whatever it is, our first goal should be to pause and stop ourselves immediately as we question why we are reacting. Are we reacting because of what exactly is happening or, are we reacting to the stories and meanings we have created for ourselves? How funny it is that we named the planets above us. What if for a second we didn’t put a name on the objects above us and just, I don’t know, let it be? What would then been seen would need no definition in that moment. It just would “Be”. Simply exist like my most recent post spoke on a dew weeks back.  Our problem as a world is that “There is no problem”. We are all on the same team taking the game too serious  looking for the color of air as we have conversations with out own shadows

This is why the lyrics to LA Rapper Schoolboy Q’s song “By Any Means” from his recent 2016 album “Blank Face”, and, the scene from the 1997 classic movie “The Usual Suspects” in the middle of this post are featured. They for me represent a “Moment of Chaos” from the norm. A break  in the system. A, “Blow up the building” moment or more so “Must” to quote Kanye West. The meanings we attach to life we live out everyday also doubles as the problems we cause each other. Think about it. What exactly is “Race”? Why is the color Blue not Green or Green not Blue? Say for instance one day I decide to call a turtle a rabbit and a rabbit a turtle in front of a group of my friends or employees I work with. Would I be wrong for doing so, or, would I be right for going out of the norm we are conditioned to everyday by saying something that was so “Absurd?” I mean, now that I think about it, why exactly would that even be considered “Absurd”? Who determines what is absurd, and what is not absurd? If its us, shouldn’t we as a collective start seeking out more things we can control and start trying to develop a new way of thinking? One that would, I don’t know, NOT hold us back from actually evolving into something more?

To give examples of what I am saying, sometimes with a female friend I am fucking with, I will purposely say or do something crazy just to break the normality of our situation. At times, especially with women, if things become too predictable she will start to seek elsewhere. Same with men as well. After we argue, are relationship has been tested and evolved forward yet still remains the same. This is what I am saying at its core with this section and post overall. We can not let the pass hold us back for fear of the unknown. The unknown was what made being a child fun. It helped us grow and see who we were, and who we weren’t. Sometimes you or her have to flirt with other people to test the boundaries. If not, what’s the point of just staying still in life? Yet, at the same time, as I talked earlier and also talked about in the “In Closing / Snake 97/ No Escape” from this post a month ago, by moving forward we also cause damage. Damned if you do. Damned if you………..


Before I close out, I have this theory I want to share with you to help explain this post better, and also close out this thread. Recently two weeks ago when I was having a conversation on the phone with my cousin about women, life, black people, family, etc, out of the blue, I came up with a theory. A “Cereal & Milk” theory. Simply put, when it comes to cereal and milk, there is no question that these two things just go together. Same with Koolaid and sugar, Peanut Butter and jelly, and ham with burger.  These things on a fundamental level just connect. It FEELS right like music to the ears, or, feeling thecoolness of the AC after coming from outside dealing the harsh and humid summer weather. Now, when you flip it and try to add Water to Cereal when there is no Milk around, something just, DOES NOT taste right about itFUNDAMENTALLY as Patrice O’neal spoke about when it came to women from this clip from the 2:34-2:52 mark. Which is also the same way how I came up with the Cereal and Water theory when talking with my cousin. When his wife did something that just FELT off to his logical senses, it was hard to pin point exactly what it was yet SOMETHING triggered him. Same way when any man deals with his wife or girlfriend or, when a women suspects her man is doing wrong. Its something in us which lets off a “Emergency singal” in us as humans. Same thing like when we are dealing with near death experiences or being scared. Its like eating good pussy vs smelling bad pussy. Its like smelling a pretty girl vs smelling a dirty trash bin. Fundamentally, something inside of us, (Almost as if it was programmed) forces us to put the situation in “Good vs Bad” category. Almost to say as if in a sense, it was as if this life as a whole was, Machine like. 

A spider has no idea its a spider, nor that it has a function in life to serve. It just, IS. Same was as a fish does not know its in water nor has any idea about money, race, gender, death, etc. As I always say to quote my blog post from a year ago: “Machines don’t ask questions, they just perform”.  Whatever THIS thing is called life, The Design and Designer of it is both all of us, and none of us at the same time. Its no different than if God had recorded a voicemail and we are its message. Or if God had recorder a podcast and we were its content. Like Alan Watts points out in the 3rd video above, the only reason why he is talking is the same reason why the birds sing or why the stars shine. Sure, as I said earlier I am no professional and am sure there are many scientists and politicians and teachers that can tell me why this recent post is silly and un-educational but, again, even with their knowledge what REALLY do we know in THIS moment right now? Why are things the way they are? What exactly is this THING that controls us each and everyday of our lives? If life was as random as most people would like to believe, why aren’t are knees where are mouths are at and are toes where are eyes are at? How are we able to float around a ball of fire with several different other planets  in orbit as if it was meant to be? Again, I am sure you can find scientists that can break this down step by step in great detail explaining “Why this” and “Why that” but, again, WHY is this happening and and WHY is it causing a connection? And yet, you see, the questions that I ask now that I think about it, also doubles as a “Failures” at the same time. Failures that must occur. 

For you see, the questions and failures of the present now, will be the motivation for the future tomorrow to fix the mistakes of the past created today. Whether its Slavery, Hitler, World War 1 and 2, the deaths of Martian Luther King and Malcolm X, 9/11, Sandy Hook Elementary shooting, Boston Marathon bombing, the recent shootings of unarmed black men in the past 5 years, the shooting of the club in Orlando, etc, etc, etc, these mistakes we committed then, and these mistakes we commit now, will help the future of tomorrow do their best to do better than we are doing at this moment. Its a collaboration or, better yet, its  “Fashion Slaves of the Carousal”  or more so “Coloring books for Adults”.   A track and field star passing the baton to the next racer to complete the journey. For a more blunt explanation, the first person to be labeled as a child molester and the first child he or she touched were the sacrifices for today. Meaning, by them be branded as the first molester and for the kid to be his or her victim has helped parents today be even more aware of what could happen to their kids and the numerous dangers that could occur at any moment and any time. They in a sense, are more hyper aware to take even more safety precautions than they naturally would have already done prior. Such as kids born with disabilities helps makes parents appreciate the blessing they have with their kids born without any, while at the same time, helps medical research teams see what can be done in the earlier stages for new parents to help stop children of the future from suffering from the same faith as the kids beforehand. So, in a way by that logic, that means IN THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW as you read this post and look around the world you live in today at this very second, when you really sit back and analyze slash not analyze it at the same time, at its default core, is there really, I don’t know, is there really: “Anything wrong with the world?” 

Maybe that has been my crazy idea all a long. I know earlier I said exactly what it was but, as I write this post out in real time and really start to let my brain wonder as if it was its own pink version of a Ouija board, what if, there really isn’t anything wrong with the world. As I said we are in control, yet not in control at the same time. There is something which is guiding us in this maze called life which seems to not make any sense in this very second and yet, when you look at something like say, Hip Hop and the culture that it has become, would Hip Hop have been formed without the first pieces of slavery and white supremacy?  Is Hip Hop a interracial baby of those two parents? How funny it would be to explain this to a Plantation owner today and let them know that by their help and wicked ways, black people were able to invent a genre of music and lifestyle which has created songs, albums, moments, and legends in which will last a lifetime longer than he ever would of dream of. In the same coin, I imagine how it would be to explain to a slave today that their pain and sacrifice they faced many years ago would help a black kid in the future see he or she can be great just by being themselves like a Jay Z, Kanye West, Mary J. Blige, Queen Latifah,  J.cole, Kendrick Lamar, Lauryn Hill, Nas, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, etc. Just as you can say the same for the Transgender people, Gay / Bi / Lesbian people, Feminists, Asians, Chinese, Mexican, Hispanic, Latino, etc. Again. maybe there isn’t anything wrong with the world. Maybe as Bill Hicks once said, we all need to stop and just realize: 


“Hey, don’t worry, don’t be afraid ever because: This is just a Ride” -Bill Hicks




Categories: Design, Zen

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