We are all prone to some insecurity and desire predictable circumstances but life is unpredictable and security is only an illusion. Living is inherently a state of insecurity and freedom is not possible without this dynamic. We are all individual and therefore cannot truly carry each other’s loads in life. We can however communicate and cooperate to some extent and thereby help one another.
True freedom is experienced when nothing really matters and if you stop, sit back and think about it, nothing really does matter. We are all born and die individually and with nothing. Life is a dance of sorts. This awareness is similar to the state of Zen in Buddhism. I am not a Buddhist, just using it as a reference. It is interesting to note however that Rollo referenced Cory Worthington as an alpha “budda”. I suspect this is basically what Rollo was getting at. Happiness and the natural freedom to live with confidence to exercise free will (with women and other life concerns) occurs more enjoyably when we are not controlled by powers not our own. We sometimes make the mistake of giving up our own power with no good reason to.
-The Rational Male comment section (“Beta Tells”)
Sitting in silence is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself when a hour or two is available in your life. Sometimes its best to cut away from all the distractions and just let the sounds of your apartment, house, and outside do all of the heavy lifting instead of you. This can give you some times to just be instead of trying to find things to do to avoid one of the biggest challenges in your life: Yourself. Yourself as a person is a roadblock that we all must go through in the end when there is nothing else in our view except the person standing in the mirror right across from us. The silence is scary and brutal to deal with this I know. it can be quite hard to just sit there and listen to your mind wander from place to place going in directions that you’ve more than likely wanted to avoid for the rest of your life. Like thinking about death, other people’s death, what does this all mean, is there a purpose, why am I am here, will it matter when I am gone, etc. Hearing the silence alone can be more powerful than any scary movie ever created from the past, present, and future can deliver. Because the only person controlling the sounds, voices, thoughts, and actions are yourself. You are the only one to blame or congratulate. It truly is a eye opening experience when you find yourself alone on a dark island by yourself without no one, not even a volleyball to talk to. Yet, it can also be a enlightening experience to show you just how much you truly lack in understanding how this world really is, and who exactly will and is the real controller of your faith besides the outside forces you allow to dictate the direction of your life.
I realize the imagery of driving down a long road on your own can be quite a daunting feat to go through once you start to slowly chip away at the layers of walls that have helped surround you for years. The anxiety to escape from oneself can lead to wanting to be apart of a crowd no matter how mundane the circumstances are. Its not so much about who or what the crowd represents and is about, its more so just to escape the madness and fear of the unknown of what lies behind the eyes that stare at you everyday before you head out of your place to start the day. It doesn’t matter what the crowd is doing. Just as long as you are safe and everyone is in debate on a issue is all that is the concern. The crowd laughs you laugh. The crowd becomes upset, you become upset. The crowd dances, you dance. And so on and so on. While fun it can be at times it is also a dangerous tight rope you are walking. Because the crowd then becomes your master as you start to become the pet. Your friends will be the ones that control the direction of your life based on what is deemed right or wrong from society’s standards. Surely, if you feel like doing something as in killing someone or, absorbing drugs in your system that can be deadly and the crowd stops you there is nothing wrong with that. However, at a deeper level from a big picture perspective you should never get to a point in which you can not function without the invite or permission from the crowd as well. If so ask yourself who then are you living for? Are you creating a book or helping to create a book? Which one to you deem more important in the long run?
The people that are helping create the books are chained blindly to the past, slaves of the present, and contributors for the blueprint of the future. They go with the wave instead of pausing to swim to shore and watch it float by as they decide their own path. The crowd asks the why when something occurs outside of them. They want to know the when, who, or what. They want to know every detail about others lives instead of trying to find their own and form a story out of it in which they are the star. Is that how you want your life to be, when the time comes of laying in your death bed counting down the minutes until your next sleep becomes your last? What this boils down to is this: Are you truly trying to develop the foundation of yourself? When I ask myself this I found out that me as well had no idea who I truly was. Liked I talked about in the past I was basically a clown for others just to get attention and known by others. This caused me to never develop myself or create a path on my own to follow if others weren’t on board to begin with. Luckily some forced isolation helped me start to see the light so to speak. I found myself alone and started to connect the dots as far as what had happen to me. I was no sure of who I am without the validation of others. It was a cult minus the killing and weird tasting koolaid. Let this be a warning to you. Never allow yourself a day to go by without placing yourself first. Who you are is not determined by society and society’s rules. Granted you must see this as a collaboration and not start thinking no rules apply to you. If you steal, kill, or decide not to do anything and as result make no money you are in for a hard dose of reality that no philosophy or idea can save you from. What I am pointing more towards to is your future and your future alone when before and when death comes around.
The hard pill to swallow is one we can’t avoid is that each and everyone of us is truly alone at the end of the day. Sure, we come together as men and women to create and discuss ideas, philosophies, blueprints, beliefs, etc. But, when alone when it is time to lay our head down on a pillow, even when someone is next to you, you are alone plain and simple. We are alone plain and simple. Each person that passes you by in a car, on the street as you drive by them, or a on TV and the internet playing dress up for a living are all living their own lives at the end of the day one by one. I am not saying that everyone is cold and selfish to a T no, but, what I am saying is that they have developed the skills from society in not showing that dark side of the truth. We are all living around people that lack the passion and desire to seek original thought. Everyone from family, friends, and the people you work with only move when a door is unlocked by society instead of opening a window, another backdoor, or house to go through.
Do not follow that path. Instead, create your own and live life on your own true and original terms. Decided what you want and like. Take time to figure that out once you get a chance to. Learn the details about what really makes you happy instead of what you are told that should make you happy. You can not be defined if you are doing your own thing. Others will want you stay the same so their life can be easier by seeing you are still you after all these years. Change is more scary for them than it is you. For then it shows them that the model they have been curse with since birth can be destroyed and replaced with one that THEY choose. Reasons other people don’t move forward is because of not only a lack of effort, but also a lack of understanding that life is really “Just is”. Every day is new day for change over and over again. Stagnation is also the cousin of death. Do yourself a favor and choose not to meet the rest of the family of death. When it doubt don’t pay attention to the names and prices of anything. When it doubt just remember: Its just a couch. You the person decides what becomes of it. Treat the world the same. The couch is not your boss.