Being disrespected is a feeling that is hard to describe. I really can’t place my finger on it but, its just a very different feeling that causes me to not really question life but, question myself as a person. It makes me feel as if, when it comes to certain people around me, who I am as not a name or man but, just a human meant nothing to them.

This burning blue flame rage that will rise in me caused much distress and pain as many thoughts would run through my mind. Especially if other people were around to see it. Thoughts that made me feel smaller, and smaller as they would bubble from the surface and shoot up like a missile causing explosion. Fire in my eyes and a deep pit in my stomach as I felt the words shift into mini daggers poking me from all angles repeatedly doing its best to draw blood, sweet, and tears.

What made it even worse is when it was my own family. Both in terms of me and, hard to admit but my father. I would see as the years went on how once my mother had left him and kicked him out of our apartment that things became different. Especially since he had nowhere to stay and had to move in with my older cousin.

The power shift was made and age no longer played a factor, but at the same time did play a factor between him and my cousin. I felt his pain and wondered how deep his mind would go at nights by himself alone. Sure, he moved on and even got a another woman pregnant but, you can see the yearning to return back home was and still burns in him. My family would make fun of this situation and pass it off as depressed. The respect and fear he once use to hold was gone and he was now merely seen as a man that needs his wife back.




I would see this and, I must admit even join in due to women’s nature of chaos being addicting. That use to always be the case until myself had to come to terms with how much respect plays a factor into not only mine but, everybody’s life as a whole. My superficial respect was always given because I was a kid. I never really had to earn respect. Sure, high school is one thing but, high school is not the real world. As I left school I got a taste of reality. A bitter taste that had me starting from square one on a new reality I had not become accustom to.

Fast forward and now I, have a new fond appreciation for not only the concept but, just the overall meaning of the term respect. I understand why my older cousins and uncles would fight tooth and nail to keep it no matter what at all cost. I understood why my father would be, and to some extent still is upset about his respect factor going down. I see why the cousin I work with would risk his job by yelling back at our current bosses when a dispute would occur no matter what. I see why women behaviors changes when it comes to respect. Its not so much just them alone judging it but, they are also factoring in how others will judge it. From women, other men, family, etc. I see how big of a factor respect plays in this world.

So now, I refuse to let anyone even dare come close to try and snatch it out of my hands. I refuse to ever let another man or especially even a woman think or assume they can come sniffing around me and have the audacity to feel froggish to jump. No, I am not talking about physically harming a woman. Simply put, I will not allow them to disrespect me at any cost no matter what. If it gets to the point hands have to be used on a her, I will just remove myself from the situation.



My respect is something I have seen lost in a woman’s eyes before. It is something I have seen lost in a family member’s eyes also. My respect, is something I have seen glossed over by even my own mother and father. No more. Never again. That look and feeling is on the same level as a death of someone close to me. My respect to the outside world may seem foolish and silly to fight over.But none the less I will continue to do so.

Because if not me then, who? Who else will stand there and take the bullet in the crossfire. How can I as a man deal with life as a whole if I am not willing to do what is needed with my own brain and two feet. I can not wait for someone to rescue me. That, ins not what men do. That, is what females can choose to do. I say chose because, women do at times stand up for themselves but, rest assured if needed, there can be someone else to take care of their battles. Especially when it comes to the boyfriend or husband vs girlfriend or wife dynamic.

Point is as a man, I have to defend myself if I want to even have a chance at earning respect. The perception can be much worse than the actual fact. If you are perceive as a pussy then others will try you at all cost. You may be one of  the strongest men walking this green earth but, if others feel they can test you, they will. Never let any man or women take your pride, respect, and manhood away. Be smart but, defend it at all costs. 




No. Ego has nothing to do with that in my opinion. This invisible concept and the fear of it being gone from me as a man is more scary than any thing Freddy Krugger can conjure up in his twisted child molesting head. This is out of my control. Once hair graced my balls and face there were forces and concepts I had to get used to and deal with. Ego or not, I was going to be dealing with this no matter what.

Regardless of what was said, my father is still my first superhero. Without him and his laziness to not stop by CVS during that late night to pick up a condom I would not be here. I will forever be in debt to him. This was not a post to disrespect him. I am simply seeing the system for what it is and see him as a inspiration to not fall down to that level. I flatly refuse to let these blood suckers get the best of me and toss me aside like a piece of trash.

I will earn it, fight for it, keep it, and most of all, make sure to never feel disrespected again. I will never escape this prison and have no issues with it at all. I am comfortable in this one. Nothing feels better than to not only be rewarded for it but, see the looks of genuineness in people’s eyes that have gave me it. In return, I do the same until the day they cross that line and no longer deserve my time, emotion, effort, and most of all without question, my respect.


Bottom line, you as a man our looked at differently. It never stops as soon you hit high school until you die. Sure, in old age it softens as you lay away dying in a nursing home but, even then the hard work you have placed in earning your respect is still there. Defecating on yourself and having to have someone help you clean up will still hopefully cause some frustration inside of you for not being able to do it yourself. Guard your respect with you life. If you don’t understand that now, you will once you are tested by another man and don’t defend yourself properly, or, when your woman sees you in a weaken state one two many times. Respect your respect at all costs. 







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