I recently just got some great news yesterday about another job opportunity that will befit much longer in the future than the current place I am at now. If I manage or, better yet, for a more better mental state and overall vibe of character within me, WHEN I manage to get this job I will be able to add more resources into this blog, help with family, save up more, and, to be basically honest but a bit more stupid shit that I honestly don’t need. I can’t lie, the thoughts of being able to buy a few clothing items as well as some electronics have crossed my materialistic mind. As well as some more books since in the last few years my love for them as increased a lot. So yes I have thought about some fun items to spend on me due to many years of really not being able to afford it due to placing energy on bills and, fuck it more bills.
The job that I am at now as helped me in ways it will probably never imagine. I remember when I first started there I was a lazy, unmotivated, complaining, narcissistic piece of hot dog turd that acted as if the world was suppose to not be this hard. I was young and did not feel the need to work that hard. I remember being around the people that were there before me I had arrived at the company and just simply enjoyed complaining about the politics and overall lack of money. It felt fun and at times humorous to be able to talk shit with the guys that hated the same thing I was doing. Yet, at the same time these men already had the “it” in them when it came to working, They were conditioned for the harsh ways of the world and earned the right to be that way. I was still fresh and had to work my way up to even be able to blurt out a bad word about the boss or money I was making.
Which I did just that. At first I was seen as someone that was not going to be in that company much too longer. I seemed like the type that was in it for the money and really wasn’t trying to gain any experience or overall psychology of the world around me from working in a demanding manual labor job. I, I believe would of been fired. That is, until one day they offered me the position to be a floor supervisor. I was shocked and suspicious at the reward. Around that time and a couple more years in the company I have grown better but, there was potential for more. They must of seen that and decided to see where this goes. Though, another way of looking at that was to see if I would fail at the job. I was okay to goo back the but as I said, I was not someone that looked like they would last too long. My inner Walter White ego kicked in and I decided to prove them wrong if that was the case. From that day forward as the new floor supervisor, I went into over gear and went far and beyond to what they ever could of expected. All of a sudden I was getting noticed.
I went from being the dude that ate dinner sized food trays before the shift started, to the guy that they came to depend on for everything. I was outshining everyone that came in that job. Young to old noone was basically fucking me. This is where I stand now currently. I have gained respect of my co-workers, bosses, and even one of the top bosses of my boss. I mean sure it was a simple “He notices you. Says your doing great” but still none the less, it was somewhat cool to have one of the main bosses of the company as a whole notice my work effort out there. Yes overall I had gained a bit of success. More inner than outward. I manage to get a small increase in money but, it is barely enough to cover for the blood, sweat, aches, and stress I have gotten from the place which is why not only me, but several others are leaving as well. Even the main boss in the office is considering leaving too as of this time.
My success in the company as lead me to now be taken serious as my words hold a bit more weigh then previous years. I honestly could have everyone fired expect for maybe one other person if I really wanted to. Its a small bit of a rush and good feeling I wont lie but, not enough to act on. Maybe when I first started but, as I have gotten older and wiser, my views on helping others has extended to the point that even thinking about me as decreased as the years progress. Shocking if you knew me in grade school. This new way of thinking as lead me to help get my younger cousin in the company currently. In just a very short time he is catching on quite quickly and even seems to be trying to take my job. Cute but no. I admire his young ambition but, in the immortal words of our 90’s comedic heros “Homie don’t play that”. Jokes aside though watching him made me think about success in a different way. Watching him and knowing that also I will help my cousin’s boyfriend hopefully get a job once I leave has made me see things in a new light.
This will come off as very “White women saves black kids from 3rd world countries to feed their egos” like but, trust me (I’m a future cult leader) its coming from a genuine place. Being able to help others has made me feel good. I never thought I would eve have that concept years back. I was much more of a self centered son of a bitch that only cared about wrestling, Eminem, and making people laugh. Literally I kid you not. Very simple minded without a second thought of others. Thinking about how my mother and father would struggle through their jobs at times wasn’t even a thought in my brain as I opened my gifts on Christmas and my birthday. All that matter was my happiness and making sure they got everything right on my list. Anybody else concern was foreign to damn aloof.
I remember once my father had serve back issues during work and needed my help. He worked late at night so I had to get up out of my warm and comfortable bed to help him. I, was VERY pissed and remember slamming the door angry at the fact. My father was walking towards the car and suffer a back spasm and collapsed halfway on the ground. I remember him and me connecting eye level wise and I didn’t move a inch to help him get up. I was only thinking about myself as I watched my father struggle to stand up. Yeah, I was that entitled fuck face. The ones you see in movies. Anyway my mother ended up taking my place as I went inside the house with my father. She, and someone else at the company helped her delivered the morning papers in time. She manage to do that and STILL went to work at her job the next day.
Success for me now is in helping others. This new job and hopefully this blog and other goals I have in mind will help lead me to more money. Money that in hindsight will be spent on not me but more than likely family. Sure, a good chunk will be spent on this blog for promotion purposes but, overall I will help my family out as best as I can. Am I about to start making a ton of money? No. Hell no. That will come but only in due time. For now though the money I will make will make a better difference than what I am making now. This job will not be permitted as I want more for myself, but as of now this will be a great jump off point to help me further in life. Jay Z recent out of music from 2011-2014 has been mostly about the success he is currently enjoying. While still entertaining it at times comes off as boring and stale. Yes, it has a black empowerment element that has never been touched on in music due to us as a people never being in the position of riches to speak on it, yet at the same time the music still comes off as a hour and some change of music talking about money, more money, and even more money. Especially on the collaboration album with Kanye West in “Watch the Throne”, and his 2013 phone app released album in “Manga Carta Holy Grail”.
Hearing Jay Z’s music now make me think all he will ever rap about is success and the things he can buy. Then, I always snap myself back to reality with the song up above titled “Do you wanna ride”, which is about him sending a audio letter to his friend Emory Jones that was serving time in prison. He speaks of all the fun they will have once he is able to be let free and join him, and Jay Z’s closet family and friends to all of the many places and pleasures of life that he has obtained. Yes, he has brought many things for himself but, he also has done a lot for his family and tight circle of friends. That, is what really matters. I used to think that success was from external gains like cellphones, headphones, iPods, and especially women. But seeing things in a new light has shown me that these things are really meaningless in the long run. Placing women in the same category as objects and the word meaningless is not meant to be taken in the way it sounds. I say these things because expecting gratification and happiness strictly from them will never lead to true completion for a man. Nothing ever will in the long run but, as you know the way most men place all of their eggs in one basket when it comes to the opposite sex is the norm.
Its more so about making them happy than a man’s true inner happiness. He gets that from sex and overall having her, but even then just like her having him it gets to become old and stale as well if you as a man don’t have some type of game to spice up the relationship. Even then with game though, a system will develop of the relationship instead of it becoming a experience and overall genuine journey between two people. Main point being, success based of just them and objects of entertainment so that it will feed your ego wont lead towards anywhere in my opinion. I believe in killing the ego and helping others has lead me to not care so much about buying shit I really don’t need. I am still selfish in some ways due to finding the “Red Pill philosophy” but, now its with more of a calculated and subtle like strategy in approach. Finding the red pill has lead me to develop my own concept of life that gave me a direction which has then lead to me thinking of others in more ways than one. Some I help, some I watch with one eye open, some I ignore, and some I see to seek out and use to my advantage. Overall, helping others is where I get most of my pleasure from if it is deserved and truly genuine.
Success for mean now doesn’t mean shit if you can’t share it and help others. The blogs I have found if they know it or not have inspired me in ways that I never would of thought imaginable. That I believe is one of the key principles of the red pill. Just unlocking minds and freeing them of a system that will never give a fuck about them in the long run.