Writing

WRITER’S BLOCK

 

Writers block is tough. I never thought I would be dealing with it so early on but, I am. I am sitting here right now with literally a thousand ideas floating through my head yet, they all feel like past posts with a twist or remix on it. I feel like at times I have extended pass “Game” and “Philosophy” like thoughts when it comes to my world and the world around me. Of course, this is not entirely true as knowledge will never be  stopped. Yet, I still feel like I am reaching closer and closer to the edge. There is only but so many ways you can twist a subject until it becomes redundant, and simply for a lack of a better term, lame. I am not saying that I am the smartest man in the world, or that I know everything about women, yet at times it does feel like I have gone as far as I can when it comes to dealing with the opposite gender in the terms of game and understanding how they are. How far can this really go? 

How far can I really take this? I mean, at a certain point you start to realize that you can’t keep playing the same game 24/7. I know I have wrote here, and also right here that the game between men and women will never stop, but I do feel like I have reached the point that it feels like I am becoming a robot that I went against becoming in my post a few months back. A robot as in, it is becoming easy. Easy in terms of I know what her next move will be eight steps before she even takes it. No, I am not trying to come off as a arrogant dude that thinks he knows every SINGLE thing about women like I said earlier, but what I mean is I know more so about the end game. I know the path this is going to lead down the road not only for me, but for her as well. This blog, as well as others blogs I read have helped me become very aware of what I am dealing with. Its not that women have some big grand plan in their head that they go out and try and execute no. But, there are so many stories from men and women as well that are so connected with each other that you can’t help but start to see the pattern. 

Seeing this pattern has become basically boring to keep it simple. It makes me at times regret knowing this information,  at the same time happy about it as well. Damn if you do, dammed if you don’t. It has made me become almost bored of coming up with new ideas when I know that deep down it really has nothing to do with me. I think its why I enjoy seeing arguments with other people or reading stories online about how other men are dealing with their issues as far as women and nihilistic feelings go. Not so much for the information but, more so for JUST the story. Just so I can see that they have faults, worries, stresses, sadness, confusion, ignorance, etc about the whole dynamic between men and women. I am not really looking for another technique when I am reading these stories. I am more so looking just to hear the what they have been through and see that they are just as human as I am. This is no shot at the “Red pill” philosophy not at all. I am thankful everyday that I have found this philosophy. It has helped me get off my ass and stop being lazy about writing my blog and focusing on trying to be a comedian down the road. Its opened my eyes to what I can do instead of HOPING what I can do. Without it, I have no idea how things would have turned out for me. Especially since I was heading towards becoming REALLY depressed instead of just being pre-depressed like I was in 2009. 

But at the same time like I addressed in this post here, that maybe feeling creeps back up in me. It creeps up when I see my family or friends remain aloof in their worries about what is “under the hood” as far as how relationships and life are. Yes, their ideology is rooted from the one that was forced feed to us many years ago when we as a civilization were unaware of what the world COULD be unlike we are now, which wasn’t bad considering it had men being men and women being women. It was a balance that worked because of our ignorance that really wasn’t even ignorance to be honest. Meaning, there was never a consideration of what men and women could do like it is now. Yes, men cheated more and women were left at home to tend to the kids and house,  but no one could have imagined that the system that once worked would come crashing down into dust and ashes. But it has yet, when talking with people who are not familiar with “Red pill”, “MGTOW”, “PUA”, etc, you get a sense that they are not looking for a concrete answer. Its just the “is” that is important. The “talking about” it is more fun than the actual finding out of what this thinking can create. I hear my older cousins talking about women and relationships. They come close to what I have learned about women and the game of life but, it never reaches the point that it becomes a ideology and path to lead. Its just water cooler convo. 

They are not looking for a answer. They are going with the flow and just hoping things work out. Are they better than me for doing so? No. Especially when you consider so many men and women as well wished they could of waited before they got in a relationship or marriage once the hammer comes crashing down on their fantasy bubble. But at the same time that aloofness they possess makes them seem more happy. The delusion they have makes it seem like their more at ease about life than me. I have the knowledge of what can help them and make them more at ease as far as dealing with their women, but in doing so it feels like I am trapped in a concept while they are more free are not free at the same time. Its weird and hard to describe which is why I am sure as you are reading this it may come off as head scratching to you. Anyway when you turn its again dammed if you do, dammed if you don’t. Extend it pass women and relationships to life as a whole and they still seem more free. 

I don’t know. Again, this writers block has made me want to just share experiences instead of looking for a script to follow. But, then again not really at the same time. Apologies again but, its a “have my cake and eat it too” type of thing I guess. The experience and unknown is something I can never get back unless its about death. Which is quite funny when you think about it. The only thing we as ALL humans are unsure of could only be answered when we are dead, yet we can never tell anybody once we are there. Having this knowledge will never have me in a unknown state about life. Since the internet takeover, nothing really is shocking to me anymore whatsoever. I have heard about babies being killed, brothers raping sisters, cops killing unarmed men, child slavery, etc. It never stops. Add in understanding men, women, and relationships and it makes life even more worse. That at least was our one thing we could look forward to. That was are once safe haven from all the chaos in the world. But now, with knowing about how the game is it feels like I have to be on guard 24/7/. Yeah, “First world problems”  I know but, if not love that can comfort us then what? What else is left after you cross that line and hit the wall? Did I go too far  for a answer when I seen my mother putting gifts under the tree? Did I go too far when I started to seek out why my ex called me a “little bitch”? Or, did I go too far when watching Joel Osteen and wondered “If GOD is GOD then, who gave him that power? Who came before him?” 

I don’t know. Apologies again for this stream of thought without any real end game to it. Its kind of like life I guess. Thank you again for taking the time out to read. More posts to come as well as dreams I will make a reality. Thank you again.  

 

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