#NOFILTER

#NOFILTER: MY PENIS DOESN’T CARE ABOUT JENNIFER LAWRENCE

 

 

 

 

I honestly don’t know how long this is going to be but, I’ll just get right into it. Over the weekend, a bunch female celebrity bitches had their phones leaked and a bunch of photos spread like hot cakes over the web. Over course, this was a hot topic that many, many blogs wrote about, fans commented on, and feminist had to toss in their two cents. I seen the photos and, honestly, I could really give two flying donkey milk dicks about it. Why is this causing such a god damn out roar. The photos I have seen and the ones that will come later according to this list here, are not something that me aNd my Penis are really THAT concerned about. I had a talk with my penis and, he response was one of a shoulder shrug. Or, a quick shoulder shrug that lasted for about a couple of seconds. I can tell what his reaction was right away when it came to these average women. Usually, he would be hard to read but, in this case he was as soft and relaxed. The opposite of a chronic masturbators hidden towel that is more still in the same shape longer than Terri Schiavo was.  

The only reason anybody even cares about this is because of the status these women have. Other than that, besides relationship material and a causal sexual fling, nobody would give these photos or women a second look on the street now. Back when they were younger, and ironically listening shaking their ass to R.kelly’s music oblivious of seeing into the future by doing that, then maybe they would get longer stares but,  now, eh. With so many fucking women exposing their ass, breasts, and dignity online, its kind of hard to get excited about a female’s body that looks like she and my mother share the same diet plan together. Granted, was my penis still somewhat intrigued? Of course. When I asked him he gave a quick yes before lowering his head quicker than I did during graduation when honor students were being recognized. But overall, that was it. I really see no reason in going crazy over these photos. There is so many more options out there to take your penis and play “Bang the drum until you____” to that, these pics are bring a yawn and “eh, whatever” vibe to them.  

Again, its all about status and taboo. That is the reason all of these photos are getting a lot of attention. But you just with a couple of clicks you can find a lot more better bodies to stroke your baby shooter to. Hell, I have a couple cousins that can wet your appetite a lot better. Am I saying I looked? No but, when you are younger you have people obviously that are older in your family (REALLY? SHOCKER) so, they are more prone to just let it fly out. By that I mean “Damn girl. That body is growing up fast huh? Reaaaal fast. Uh huh (Creepy awkward stare and pose activated in 5….4…..3…..)  I bet you have a lot of men around you girl. Turn around and show uncle what you working with (Activated. We have penis lift off). So, its kind of hard not to look to see what the fuss is about before that weird feeling comes in your body, and a “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry-Lee Lewis” starts to follow in your head. 

These photos are not that big of a fucking deal is all I am saying. Its just the shock factor of seeing women who we see on screen be brought back down to life and (GASPS) are actually doing the same things these other women do daily. The pedestal it would seem came crashing down over the weekend. The make-up, attention from sex starved men and women who want to follow was no where to be found. It was just them in all of their glory being chicks sharing their photos with themselves and a particular man. Which brings up another point. The reason why women are more than likely mad at this is because these photos weren’t meant for everybody. JUST, for one man or maybe even a couple. A small few. You see, when it comes to women its like a secret club. A club that only a few fuckers are allowed to be invited to. Its why they hate game so much because it gives men who don’t deserve it a free pass into a world they were not invited to. 

By these pics leaking, all men get access to their goodies.The rage that is felt from women is saying that not every man has a right to see them in their bare flesh without their consent. And they don’t no doubt about that. But at the same time nobody told them to take those photos, or better yet force them to. They know about past hack jobs and understood the risks. Hell, even with their boyfriends or whoever they are fucking on the side how can they be trusted as well? They understood the risks and knew what may happen to them. I am not saying they deserved it, but if you are a child molester and decide to go to Toys-R-Us to buy a X-box one just for yourself, don’t be surprised when you get arrested once a kid says “Hey mama, that is the man that wanted to show me what his penis smelled like with peanut butter on it”. You knew the risks and hoped for the best. But again at a deeper level the anger is felt because men got to see “Behind the scenes” of what was once hidden to them. Some are happy and even excited about it, but most it would seem are like “Eh”. Maybe its just me I guess but, there doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal vibe surrounding it. By next week it will be some other bullshit to talk about. More food for Squirrels  

Overall, my penis had barely anything to say. Usually he would spill his kid like glee feelings all around to the point a mop would be needed to clean him up by, this time he remained in his “head in the sand” state while his two best friend balls were left untouched for while like Michael Sam’s hands recently. At least, on the field when it comes to him of course. Nobody, especially men will not give a damn about these chicks once their girlfriends or wives leave the room and Pornhub pops back up in the incognito window. Don’t waste a future Doctor, NBA player, or even a stripper inside of a tissue or sock to these women. Have some respect for your penis when you play “Churn the butter until you stutter” game. Give him a reason to throw up unlike Clare and Rachel Wellmayer. Who ironically died the same way you heat up a stove or when cooking hot dogs. Love you penis and stroke with respect. 

Advertisements

Categories: #NOFILTER

Tagged as:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s