When I first heard this song from Eminem’s 2000 sophomore album “The Marshall Mathers LP” I was left confused and shocked. Not really the whole song in particular, but more so because of a certain line in this song about him raping his own mother. A thought, idea, concept, etc wouldn’t have even be able to process inside of my head like that. Here was a man talking about actually raping his own mother on a song that would be heard by millions. As a kid, I didn’t know what to think. It was s shock to my system. Around that age, I wasn’t extremely young. But at the same time the way I view the world now is completely different than the way I view it then. VERY different. The way I seen the world back then was how I describe it in this post here. It wasn’t taken as serious to me as it is now. Granted I still have my childish moments, but overall I am a lot serious about the present and future than I was before. If anything the way I view the future was one of a rich lifestyle without any hard work to worry about. Yes, as you can see the way I seen the world back then was more cartoon than reality. 

So when a song like this arrives to my ears it left be in awe. The lyrical ability and song structure difference from most modern rap was oblivious to me, but the entertainment value I got out of it was not. I knew Eminem was a standout. I just couldn’t place my finger on why he was. The entertainment factor was one of a CD version of a horror movie. I am a huge fan of horror so this was the perfect treat me. Its just that in horror, certain lines had not be crossed yet like this song had crossed. Yes, you had talking dolls, a tall black man with bees shooting out of his mouth, teenagers being haunted during the summer and in their dreams, crazed mask killers who had a sick and twisted obsession with horror movies, etc, but to actually rape your own mother in joking fashion was completely out the box and dark version of Loony Tunes level. But always as I listened to this song over and over again like watching a car crash you couldn’t turn away from, I always knew that this was merely entertainment. Sure, Eminem blurred the lines on people questioning whether he would or wouldn’t, but overall you knew it was just entertainment. I knew Eminem would never rape his mother. But, a song like another one of his classic’s entitled “Kim” is a different story. We as men and even women have all been there when it comes to relationships. That song as well as the themes of the album will stand the test of time 

But yes I always knew the separate reality from entertainment. Yet, entertainment was just more fun and always has been. Which leads me to the point of the this recent post. I was able to know it wasn’t real when it came to Eminem’s songs and themes of murder, rape, misogyny, etc but yet I was still able to enjoy it a lot. I did so because honestly as I look back I was always way from the storm. You see, while Eminem was facing the world I was away in my room comfortable and safe. It was like watching a movie in which someone gets blown up, stabbed, shot, tortured, etc. It was all just entertainment for me. I never had to worry about that actually happening to me. Especially since I grew up in the burbs unlike some of my family members who had no choice but to look at things more realistically at a young age. I was away from that and only had to focus on surface value things. Homework, talking with girls, being cool, being funny, trying to be noticed, make friends, etc. I never had to worry about someone shooting me or getting robbed. All of that happened in the TV world. But you see, when it came to Eminem and the certain lines he used on the album a different view of the world was creeping into me without me being aware of it. Its like what I talked about in this post here . To more knowledge we seek the more of a cage we build ourselves in. As I got older, the more and more Eminem I listened to as well as have life experiences with a friend who showed me the darker side of life like robbing, drug use, viewing girls different, skipping school, farting without being ashamed of it, fighting, vandalism, yelling at his mother, etc I started to be aware of the world around me. It was no longer cartoons and pretty lies to protect my ego. While Eminem was spreading more ideas and a alternative way of life in to the brains of white america’s children, he was also helping me as well. Wrestling was a influence, watching my parents marriage crumble before my eyes, family issues, cousin interaction from different parts of the town, etc. I was starting to become aware. Too aware. 


The Matrix movie’s concept flew right over my head when I was a kid. I had NO CLUE what they were talking about. I just remember being in that movie theater and blown away by the graphics and special effect. Looking back on it now, I am sure you can find a billion more movies with better graphics. But during that time, the things they were doing in that movie had never been seen before at all. It blew my mind. It was happening in real time. I was sitting in that very packed theater awe struck when I seen Neo dogged those bullets. Or another scene where is he holding a damn helicopter to save Trinity from falling to her death. There were so many scenes in that movie that were ahead of their time. Yet, that was all I took from the movie. The story was non important to me. I just took it as science fiction. “Yeah yeah yeah okay cool. So, when is Neo going to shoot someone and fight a agent?” That was my only concern. As I got older tho, that changed drastically. Now, the special effects take a very distant backseat as the story has become way more important. I am mad at myself for now listening better as a kid till this day. But what can you do. I was a kid and only wanted to be entertained. Now, I wanted to dig deeper and follow that white rabbit. Which, as God pointed out in the first pages of the bible was the worst mistake me, and everybody on this planet could of ever made. 

The above clip is a scene from one of my favorite Superhero movies of all time called “The Dark Knight”. It is a sequel to the Batman remake titled “Batman Begins”. This scene as well as many others was stolen by the late Heath Ledger. His performance was flawless as his portrayal of The Joker. His performance took it to another level that inspired me in ways I never thought. Not so much for acting, but more so for the ideas and dialogue  this man was talking about. I again missed what he was saying around 2008 tho. I was again more caught up in the action and entertainment. Yet, as I left that theater with my cousin I kept thinking about what he was speaking about in that movie. My cousin was bragging about the performance to his friend on his phone as well as others around us, but I was still trying to remember what he was talking about. Yes, I was still in awe of the action, but the conversations he had with Batman in a interrogation scene as well as with other cops struck me to the core. It was still scrambled in my brain but I knew something was there. Looking back on it now, I can see where another inspiration and maybe the mots important as far as for this blog and my philosophy of life came from. 

To set up the scene, it is basically The Joker playing a sick game on the people of Gotham. He has threaten everybody’s life at this point in the movie and has caused people to want to leave the city. He actions prior have shown he is able to do some serious damage. Killing people is just a side dish with this man in the movie. As the people begin to leave the city, two boats are coasted out. One with civilians, and the other with inmates from the city’s prison. Both boats are later discovered to have bombs on it. Huge explosives. The kicker here tho is that both boats have the denominator to the other bomb on the other boat. The conversation then starts about whether the inmates on the boat should live while the other boat with the prisoners does the same. Eventually they both agree to just not press the button and let the clock run out on the time The Joker has given them to make a choice. As you can see, he doesn’t like that. He then grabs a main denominator and shows he is going to blow up both boats since no “right” choice was made in his eyes.

THAT, right there is what made my head spin as I look back on it. The Joker I believed was bringing things back to a Caveman like level. You see, as I re watch this again it shows me deeper layers that I would of never caught back in 2008. This was an example of the illusion of choice we as humans have. It wasn’t about good vs evil as the surface level showed you between civilians and prisoners. It was about SURVIVAL. When you really look around the world you live in you see it as merely a game of who is going to survive to see next year. When a black kid is seen arrested for a drug crime people automatically call him stupid and ignorant. They never see WHY he id doing what he is doing. Yes, he could of have a different route for himself, but how if he was never shown the way. Some kids have no choice and are forced to do things to SURVIVE in this world just so their kids and themselves and live to eat. The Joker had a denominator in his hand. Which means he was more than likely going to blow up a boat ANYWAY. It didn’t matter which side picked. The only difference was the side that pressed the bomb would live a little longer than the other people. That is what it really comes down to when you really think about the world. Everyday people are out here working jobs they hate just so they can live and support their family. There really is no real choice expect survival. Then, by The Joker having a trigger for both boats anyway shows that it didn’t matter. He was going to kill them all. Which to me shows the illusion of choice. It doesn’t matter what side we chose to pick. In the end, we are going to meet the same death. Its just who is going to get there faster or slower. To quote from one of my top TV shows of all time “The Wire”: 



I remember recently my cousin’s friend’s two twin boys were watching “Jeepers Creepers” for the first time. Their reactions to it were priceless as they reminded me of the first time I had watched the movie. It was a joy to watch them have fun and enjoy the scary movie for what it is. A movie. Sure, they jumped and screamed at certain parts but, overall when it was over they left it as a movie and went outside to go play. Maybe if they watched it at night as I do with all scary movies it would be a different story but, that is another conversation. I also remember another time I was watching my cousin’s son sing the lyrics to Eminem’s smash 2010 single “Not Afraid”. He was just singing the hook as he bounced around a basketball in a circle. I asked him if he knew who that was that was singing it and he said “I don’t know” as he shrugged and kept bouncing the ball. This of course made me a bit upset due to me being a Eminem fan and seeing my age reflected. As I cooled off and place a baseball bat down I was about to use on the poor kid, I thought about the two events. Here these kids were just enjoying life as it came. They weren’t thinking about the fact that there are real monsters out there like The Creeper from the movie, or the fact that the content in the song deals with addiction and helping people get up and fight through it to prevent them for hurting others more and themselves. It was just pure entertainment to them. Sure, without them knowing they are on the dark path towards being more aware, especially since they grew up with the internet unlike my generation. It is apart of our lives now, but we never grew up with it like we did with Gameboys and Nintendo.

These kids seen it as just fun. It made me start to see that even more as I addressed in this post before that I could never go back to that time because I am older. In The Matrix movie the character Cypher said he wanted to get away from Zion and go back to the bill pill world where everything is laid out for him. I wish it were that easy as it is in the movies but its not. It is physically impossible. I think was we get older we are trying to find our way back to the womb. A time in which it was the last truest bit of freedom we will ever experience. Its why we drink, do drugs, consume TV, internet, phones, etc. Anything to cause a distraction and to have us in a floating like state of freedom without thinking. But that is only limited. Growing older the awareness factor always kicks in. For every time you party you remember something that involves the kids, work, husbands, boyfriends, wives, girlfriends, etc. Placing childish ways behind is forced on us as we move deeper down this created path of life. It is seen even more especially when you enter in a relationship. 

Dealing with women and being aware of them now is much different than it was back then. Back then, they were seen are princesses. Yes, even younger we as boys would taunt and tease them, but as we got older things changed. I would see girls hanging with certain boys and thought it was just something magical in the air. Soon it would be my time. I will get graced with God’s magic and have a pretty girl like that I thought. They were flawless and damn near perfection to me. The other boys got to have them because it was their time and God must of had them first for some reason. I seen this women has precious flowers that needed to be helped. Sure, some were evil bitches tho of course. I was in a horny daze but I wasn’t that dumb. Its just back then the “Whats” and “Whys” of how girls were was way over my head. By dumb luck I got some action to be honest. But now, I seen things a lot more clearly when it comes to them. Its not really a hatred thing either. Its more so just a awareness of what I am up against. There is no full proof plan that will make things easier, but these new set of tools has prepared me for a battle I will not win, yet survive a bit longer because of it.


The awareness factor of life has shown me that we have too much of it, yet that is how it is suppose to be. There is no fighting it. There are other people who are blessed from birth who don’t have to deal with certain aspects of reality as quickly as others, but even then sooner or later shit will hit the fan whether they want to admit it or not. Being dumb and full of cum is for kids. I shouldn’t be watching “The Dark Knight” and “The Matrix” movies like its a classroom session. It should be just treated as a movie to be watched and entertained. Yet, we know that it can’t be for others. That scene in that movie as well as others that deal with these type of ideas, concepts, blueprint, etc have changed me for the better and worse at the same time. It has caused me to dig even deeper towards a place God has said in the bible is a waste of time. The continuous digging has now leaked over into relationships and my views on them and the motives behind women’s actions. The red pill way groups like MRM, PUA, Manosphere, etc have shown me the light and many others but, at what cost? What if every man adopted this way of thinking? As I addressed here in this post towards the end, society as a whole would collapse. Morpheus couldn’t have taken everybody with him to Zion. Not every man or woman is ready to be freed and look at life with a different alternative. There has to be worker bees for the Queen to remain a Queen. There has to be someone buying the music in order for the stars to shine. Somebody as to be the top and the bottom. If every man found out about this knowledge what would happen to the rest of the world and relationships as a whole? I’ll end and leave you with some comments from The Rational male blog that inspired me to write this post today, and others post in the future with this idea in mind. 

While I have read all of your material, this post finally makes clear to me why there are so many men (Including myself to a certain degree… though much more self-aware) who possess a beta provider mindset as opposed to a dominant alpha mindset…

…Women will naturally sexually prefer men with dominate genes and behavior (Alpha) over a man with dominant provisioning (Beta provider) since the legal/financial framework of the western world practically guarantees that a woman is provided for in all of her “security” areas of life…

This much has been obvious to me for a good while now. But it is the realization that the social/economic climate has changed faster (and has benefited women via feministic lobbying) than the values we teach to the sons of the world, which explains why so many men are left in the dark in what women prefer sexually. God bless the manosphere, I suppose.

But it leaves a pertinent question on my mind, “What happens when men realize women’s sexual preference in the ‘Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks’ dichotomy?” With information at the fingertips of men via the internet it can only be a matter of time before there is a huge social shift for men learning to behave in an Alpha mindset. Can four billion alphas exist on the same planet? History says, “No.” 


Is a married man “entitled” to sex from his wife? Traditionally, and according to the Christian faith, the answer is: Yes, he is.

Is a married woman “entitled” to money and resources from her husband? Traditionally and according to the Christian faith, the answer is: Yes, she is.

But as we’ve moved away from traditionalism and Christianity as the dominant moral force, a man is not entitled to sex, not even from his wife. He must continue earning sex, “deserving” sex, qualifying for sex.

But a wife IS still entitled to money and resources from her husband, even if she is no longer his wife. She usually uses the children to secure those resources and is not required to account for how the money is spent.

So we have to consider: if a married man is not entitled to the one benefit he’s supposed to get from marriage (even during the course of the marriage), then a married woman is not entitled to her husband’s money or resources (even during the course of the marriage).

Why ought a wife during the course of the marriage not be required to continue earning commitment, “deserving” commitment, and qualifying for commitment?

This is why more and more men aren’t marrying — if they’re not entitled to anything and don’t deserve anything anyway by virtue of the marriage, why do it in the first place?

And of course this one…. 

Incentives matter, and sexual incentives matter as much as any others. Some betas will learn Game and become Alphas, others will just become incels.

But whether they end up getting laid a ton or not at all, they’ll soon recognize that being productive, creative citizens has almost no relation whatsoever to whether or not they get women. In both cases, they’ll have little to no incentive to do more with their lives than deliver pizzas.

Men inventing stuff or getting up at 5:30 to head off to the construction site are the reason we have all this nice stuff to enjoy. Men had sufficient incentive (women) to build it, but they no longer have sufficient incentive to strive to make the world better than it is.

No incentives for productivity, no more productivity.

A perfect example is Roosh. He was some sort of engineer, got nowhere with women, quit his job, and now gets as much poon as anyone.

But the femmis are counting on us not noticing how the game has changed. Even if no woman will give us the time of day, we’re supposed to produce new iPhones anyway, JUST BECAUSE. Or maybe because some nice 32 year-old will eventually decide to make man # 26 her last.

Some men think this through, say “fuck it”, and move to Peru. Others just have some vague sense of emptiness and gradually drop out. Some are very wedded to the old order and will fight like hell to make it work.

But unless men get rewarded (with women) for doing what needs to be done, there won’t be enough men around to do it.

Categories: Personal, Philosophical

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