Discovering an alternative to life called “The Red Pill” was one of the greatest things that could of happen to me. I didn’t think there would be anything pass wrestling that would have me as engaged and stimulated mentally and visually. Wrestling was the only thing in my life besides women that had my brain scrambled and bubbling. The characters, moves, promos, attires, videos, rivalries, etc. It was like a human cartoon coming to life right before my eyes. I remember even waning to leave a female’s house as my former best friend at the time was up stairs in her room about fuck. I should of went up there and grab a sneak at what he was doing, or at least video type it for later. Yet, this was the time in which wrestling was hot. I choose that instead of pleasing some pussy’s over hyped ego. Looking back it was actually a good thing I chose what I liked instead of kissing the ass of another female by giving her undeserved attention. But yes I rather watch wrestling at the time then chill downstairs while he was up there getting some pussy. There wasn’t even a chance I could of done all those things without being seen as a “Perv” or “Creepy” so, grown men in tights wrestling with each other seem objectivity like the better option. Wrestling was somewhat like a religion. I felt the passion and stories these people were telling. I remember this day in particular, in which the story was Vince McMahon was returning from a long abstinence to help The Rock, and also interfere in the plans of the man that stole his baby girl from him months prior. I remember the feeling I got as The Rock won the match. It was a euphoric feeling that almost felt like God himself was flowing through me. I was a huge Rock fan back then so it made that moment even more special. Certain moments in wrestling left my emotions all out of fucking wack now that I look back on it. The storyline behind that moment was basically the bad boy steals the little daughter from nest story. Triple H was basically the bad boy of the WWF at the time and causing a thorn in Vince’s backside. To make matters worse, he “married” his daughter in Las Vegas after she was suppose to marry this man in the storyline. This bad boy/good girl dynamic of course transitioned into real life as we get a typical inside look into the female arousal triggers , which also lead to them really getting married off screen because of it. Its funny watching it now as I seen so many red pill moments in that WWF segment. It was a glimpse into my future I suppose about finding the red pill in which would become my replacement for the WWF once it became stagnant and just simply bullshit. I am still able to watch it now in a new light, but it is not the same at all. The Red pill I believe is its replacement due to me being just as invested in a product like I once was with the WWF.
The only problem with the pill is that it can become tiring at times. I can not lie, sometimes I just result to watching some bullshit on Netflix instead of reading a new article on one of my favorite blogs. I t can make me exhausted to hear about women constantly more than I ever had to in my life before. I know I am never suppose to be bored as Louie CK brilliantly points out from his show, but sometimes I just do. The articles and blog posts are great and causes me to ready study and think about the concepts and ideas in a new light, yet it can still be stressful at a certain point. Its not always the same thing but the topic is always women. Talking with women has also caused a nihilistic feeling from them as I see their moves 10 steps ahead before they even start one. I know what would happen if I act too nice and needy, and also what would happen if I had the right mind set and invested in trying to fuck them. I know what triggers them to the point that they will harass and call your cell phone to the point of being stalke-ish. I finally understood why the blogs and Ton Leyis said to never give your number out. Some women are just borderline bonkers if you hit all the right buttons. But yes dealing with the same topic in women can be dreadful. Its no disrespect to the women persay, but its just nothing deep about the interaction anymore once you can see the code for what it is. It is not always easy but it damn sure isn’t as magical and awe inspiring as I once thought it would be. The red pill philosophy it seems is not as fun as I thought it would be once I first started to dive in. It wasn’t even fun at first as I was more so angry at myself as I read stories and stories from men around the world who went trough the same an even worse shit than I had been through. I knew learning this stuff wouldn’t be easy, but I also felt the journey was going to be fun in the end once I figured it all out. The results are great, but the “ending” it seems isn’t what I thought it would pan out to be. I am no where near a Jedi master on the subject like most men are on the subject, yet I learned enough to see what the finish line will look like in the end. I am thankful I was able to find the Red Pill and will forever be in debt to the men that created and inspired me birth this blog, but to be honest it can become frustrating at times to lean this information. Frustration that it never stops when it comes to women, and frustration that the information it seems can be endless. I have a theory on why that is on a grander level, but that is a post for another day.
I thought I was burned out in reading blogs until this past Saturday came about. It was a small family get together that wasn’t really planned. My mother just invited everybody over to dinner to eat and talk. A lot of family I hadn’t seen in a while had stopped by. I took a break from reading and wring as I just decided to let my mind be free for a bit. I knew it would be risky in doing but, I felt my skin had became a lot thicker in the past couple of years. I no longer seen my family as the enemy as I once did. I still don’t have too much love to give towards them due to certain things in the past, yet I was going forward in my life emotional wise and was no longer going to drink poison and expect them to feel the pain. It was up to me whether or not I find happiness. Looking for that and validation from my family would be a waste of fucking time. These people are already stuck in their ways. Its cool. I have no issues with that like I once did. I have love from them all even if we have never been that cool before. I am learning that it is a waste to try and paint them in the image I want to see. If i did that, life would be pretty fucking boring. But yes I just decided to let my mind relax. In the process, I had more fun than I would imagined. I was able to let my personality shine in ways I never thought i would be able to show before. I even slipped in some jokes I had been working out in my head for a comedy set I
hope will show to the world one day. I was able to just chill I watched mu cousin smoke weed for the first time. It was funny seeing the young kids grow up before my eyes. They were on their cellphones, hanging with friends, girlfriends, etc. They spoke on their own youthful language like I use to do when I was their age. It was cool seeing my cousin have the same expression I did and do when I got a nice buzz going on. Plus, it was nice to see he had some Alpha game with him when it came to his broad. He clearly was in the driving seat as far as I can tell without knowing a ounce of game. That made me craft a couple ideas in my head I write down later in this blog. It was good to see my aunts interact without any petty bullshit that is always seen when they get around each other. Yes, they were all buzzed very nicely and weren’t making too much sense at times, yet you ca still see that they were relaxed and just simply having a great time outside. It was also good to see everybody just being able to be themselves without judgement. I know I am speaking on family, but sometimes being yourself could still be a issue. I should give more credit to the weed and alcohol, but I thin deep down that as you age petty shit just doesn’t matter as much. I am not saying their will be no more fights, yet I think this cool and chilly night was the right steps towards the direction of a more peaceful family. There was still small shoots taken here or there, but that is expected when it comes to women. No offense of course to the ladies but, you know how you can be around women. Even family.
It was a great night that even offered me a nice buzz as well from some weed and a few drinks of that white liquor. This night showed me that what I needed to do sometimes was just simply relax and take a break from mental masturbation. Of course, no disrespect towards The Red Pill, but I needed to just step away for a bit and just let my mind wander. I of course the next day wrote some more, yet that is due to my love of writing. I maybe wouldn’t of been able to do so had I not let my brain shut down for a few hours. I may plan on taking a couple more days off from reading and even writing in the future. I see the benefits it has so I can clear my head and just live. I say a few. because I know I can never really escape this at this point. Its like the MOB almost in a way. To me, its like nature. You can’t escape fire, air, grass, trees, water, etc. The Red Pill I feel like is apart of life that every man and even women will face one day. Finding how deep teh rabbit hole goes is just up to you. Finding a time to look more deeply tho can be on your time. No one said you had to dig deep everyday. Sometimes just laying back, watching some bullshit on Netflix, and eating a nice thick and layered hamburger can do the trick more than the Red Pill can at that time. Basically, sometimes its better to just chill and let the mind play at ease. Ferris Bueller’s quotes and actions to this day still always places me in a good head space. Maybe its due to nostalgia and longing for the days in which life was simple and easy to understand, but also I think because for a few hours we got to see a kid just be able to enjoy life and not worry about the pressures of the future. We all have to step out of Cameron’s shoes some days and just say fuck it. I am taking some time to focus on myself instead of thinking about what makes others happy. Get in car and live a little.