Dave Chappelle turned down 50 million dollars. 


When I heard about that years back I was shocked. How can a person turned down 50 million dollars? All of that money and the things it can buy and someone just walked away and said no. All of your dreams from the cars, clothes, toys, women, power, and status would be in arms reach with that kind of money. He wouldn’t have to worry about financial issues when it comes to him, his kids, wife, family, etc. That money could of set him straight for life. No longer would he have to worry about the possibility of doing small venues again and dealing with the embarrassment of failing. To semi-quote Jay Z, Even if he fell he’ll land on a bunch of money. That money was the main goal I thought when you are starting out. Sure, the creative side and respect from peers is cool, but lets not act like the promise of money isn’t a big factor either. If not,  he would of just stuck to making his friends and family life and be content. Hearing him turn down that money and another season of his very hot show at the time “The Chappelle Show” made even less sense. The world was at his feet waiting for the newest sketch, joke, punchline, etc. Anything to tie them over after countless repeats of “I’m Rick James BITCH!” or “DARKNESS!”. He was on the golden path and decided to walk away from the scene as if he was never going to come back again. Tho, if you have been paying attention you will see that he has made his return and receiving rave reviews. The question tho is, why still? Why turn down all of that money and walk away only to come back again? 


That was the only thing I processed during that whole “Where is Dave Chappelle” news story years back. He had went to Africa and was deemed crazy by the media. I of course thought the same way due to all of that money he turned down. I thought he was a idiotic for walking away from a very nice security blanket that could of felt nice to wrap up in when it came time to retire, plus the extra blankets he would of had from the money he made off the new season. But as the years progress and story after story came out the woodwork there was one that really stood out from them all. Mainlt because there was actual footage of him talking about the issue, but also because of what he said.  



Watching that then vs now is much different. Then, I had no idea what he was talking about, yet I felt this scared and uneasy feeling when hearing it. There was no Illuminati talks back then. When I seen a star on TV that was it. He was that person in that moment and that’s it. I didn’t care about backstage stuff. I just wanted to be entertained. I had no desire to break 4 wall and see what they were doing behind closed doors. I just wanted to be entertained and keep it going. Now looking at this video and it connects with me a bit more. I now understand what he is saying with a lot more awareness. No, I am not a celebrity and have no deep knowledge  on the Illuminati that most people claim they do due to finally seeing Youtube videos in 2014. No, that is missing the point. The point is he was referring to the system of the death of self and the creation of a new prisoner. Here is a quote from his 2005 TIME magazine interview:



“[Chappelle] illumines the idiocy, the sheer lunacy, of racial bigotry,” says cultural commentator Michael Eric Dyson, author of the new book Is Bill Cosby Right?, “while also fearlessly pointing the finger at black folks’ loopy justifications of questionable black behavior. He’s great at taking particular events, episodes and escapades and using them to show America the unvarnished truth about itself.”

But as the late rapper biggie smalls once observed, mo’ money, mo’ problems. In August 2004, after Chappelle’s big deal was announced, people started calling him a genius a lot more. They started laughing at the wrong jokes for the wrong reasons at the wrong times. And to his mind, the show became more like working at Wal-Mart, although for a much higher salary. But he kept on with it. Says Chappelle: “Fifty million dollars is a lot of money. And what I’m learning is I am surprised at what I would do for $50 million. I am surprised at what people around me would do for me to have $50 million.” Although news of the deal was heavily reported, the conflicted Chappelle didn’t actually put his name on the pact until last March. Says Chappelle: “I was thinking for the longest—I’m not even gonna sign this s___.”


That was another Chappelle bit I had paid close attention to while everybody was talking about him being crazy and leaving all that money. I was still thinking that too but it started to get muted as I paid more attention to what info we received from HIM. Dave still had creative freedom on the show but he says “They started laughing at the wrong jokes for the wrong reasons at the wrong times. And to his mind, the show became more like working at Wal-Mart, although for a much higher salary.” His jokes and themes dealt with race, America, politics, etc. It placed a mirror up to the world and made us look while also laughing at the uncomfortable truth. To quote Oscar Wilde: 


If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you. 


But still something was wrong as the progression continue. Like I state many times once the chaos is gone the once genuine movement now becomes a system with rules and nostalgia that must be maintained. He started to see that the sarcasm of the joke on race and America was being missed completely. He seen that people weren’t laughing with the black man but laughing AT the black man. Here is another quote from the TIME magazine article that made me stop worrying about the money and fame and started to look at myself and the world around me: 


The third season hit a big speed bump in November 2004. He was taping a sketch about magic pixies that embody stereotypes about the races.

The black pixie—played by Chappelle—wears blackface and tries to convince blacks to act in stereotypical ways. Chappelle thought the sketch was funny, the kind of thing his friends would laugh at. But at the taping, one spectator, a white man, laughed particularly loud and long. His laughter struck Chappelle as wrong, and he wondered if the new season of his show had gone from sending up stereotypes to merely reinforcing them. “When he laughed, it made me uncomfortable,” says Chappelle. “As a matter of fact, that was the last thing I shot before I told myself I gotta take f______ time out after this. Because my head almost exploded.”


That excerpt has always stuck with me till this day. I would credit  this to making me reflect on my life and moral compass. I stopped caring about the money and started looking at what I would do in that situation. Ego cast to the side I really thought about what I would do if I was placed in that spot. This video right here digs deeper into Chappelle’s head and made my eyes open up more. People still talk about all that money he left yet most likely have no idea this excerpt exists. I remember talking with my family and friends about this and all they could talk about was old sketches from the show, the money, and him going crazy running to Africa. If they did know about it tho, I wonder how far they would go to humiliate themselves in order to make some money. How far would they go to be made to look like a clown just for a cheap laugh and a few bucks. It sounds silly to even question that when you look on the internet today and see how far people are going in order to gain fame and money. It becomes that vs working a 9-5 job that you hate over selling yourself out to make some easy money and gain a couple thousand or million Twitter followers. Dammed if you do dammed if you don’t it seems, but the alternative to that is my philosophy that was helped birthed from reading several blogs and gaining experience, wisdom, and knowledge of how the game of life works. This new “Red Pill” awareness has made me look at not only life, but this Dave Chappelle old yet still relevant situation with “Softer eyes”.  It makes me think about why the illusion is more stronger than actual reality. Like I said, I am not heavy into religion but I do feel like keeping the game going is more stronger than the cold reality. I don’t think there was ever a Devil on this planet before, but what the bible teaches us about it is starting to make sense. I see people no longer caring about there self and a soul as they look for more easy ways to cash out. If you take away the element of God what do you have left? I joked about it here in one of my current post towards the end with that video, but I do believe if people became more and more aware it would shatter some egos and realities and cause complete chaos. In order, knowledge must remain hidden to succeed. When you take away people’s jail cell and don’t have a map towards the truth the system will collapse and bury the people to the ground with it. Lucky for me and a following that continues a grow each year, a map is developing that makes the nihilistic view more realistic yet less scary. 





Its tough. I wish I can go back to a time in which life was more simple and easy to digest. A time in which my only problems were trying to get a girl’s attention, coming up with jokes, homework, not missing WWF Raw, causing chaos with my friends, trying to be cool, etc. I want to go back to a simple time in which life seems big and endless. A time in which there was no awareness to the limitations of what I can and can’t do due to the perception of my skin color and what is expected of me. A time in which hiding the fact I was a Eminem fan for a while was actually something to worry about. And of course, a time in which I can look at a woman and imagine a life together with her that involve no fighting and her loving me for me. She would love every romantic thing I did and never worry about looking at another man again. I would be her one and only and we would live happily ever after like the movies sold me on. Yes, I wish I can go back to that ignorant and confusing time in which bosses, money, fighting, hatred towards family, fake people, death, evil, followers, etc were only seen on the TV. 


But that is never going to happen. As I move forward the system took over and eventuality made me see what I thought was real seem like reality. Bills, girl problems, dick head bosses, shady family members, fake friends, etc. I felt like my life was out of control and there was nothing I can do about it. God has a plan for me and all of this was worth it. Yeah, that guy over there was a dick to her but one day the system will reward me with a pretty girl just like her and see will see me for me. Yeah, that guy over there gets a lot of attention and is popular with everyone but one day that will be me. I will get my turn. I deserve it dammit and God was going to give me some tokens and allow me to play the game. I was going to make a lot of money soon. I don’t care if there is a Billion plus people on this planet. God pays extra attention to me and I felt it. I knew he had a plan for me dammit and I was going to get my break. All of those artists that thank God when they win a Grammy awarded always thank God for it. Look see! He rewarded those people with his magic dust. I was going to get some of that too. I was a aspiring rapper back then and I just knew God would sprinkle magic dust on people within a ear length of my music and MAKE them feel it. I didn’t have to do tricks and subtle marketing ploys to get their attention. They was going to like my music with God’s help and make them love me. It was all in his hands and I felt safe at night. The system and God was on MY side. I could’t get hit by a car or die any minute by a random act. Hell no. The system and God has a plan for me. Yeah, those people on the news are sometimes younger than 5 years old that die but, God has a plan for them. Somehow. I don’t know how but, somehow. It was all going to work out. I was never worried. I had help always. Always.


But as you can see with this blog, that type of thinking never lasted. Staying in the system and using it as a safety net feels good. It feels powerful even to know that someone always had my back. It felt good to know that with hard work and staying on the beaten path that one day I would be rewarded. But that was not the real reality. Nobody really gives a fuck unless its family. And even sometimes that is pushing it.  No, the reality is that bad shit happens all the time and it has nothing to do with a plan from God. Shit just happens. The system of being faithful to a company will do you no good. You can stay there for years and keep quiet hoping they will notice you one day and end up getting fucked over like my aunt. She never asked for a day off as she worked their for years and years. Then, one day after she finally asked for one they said you always could of asked. You had a lot of time saved up. You should of said something. You see, its staying in a jail that was created for the idea and not the person that matters.  Money is someone else’s creation. Its the idea that matters. You are just another player in the game that will be forgotten once your friends and family are gone too unless you create a moment in time that was last forever. You see? The moment and idea last forever not the person. We are just passing through making it easier for the next.


Leaving the illusion is hard but its a must. I said that staying in the jail cell is better and its true but, at least have a more pragmatic approach to it. Reading the blogs, gaining knowledge, and using any other outlets to learn how the game of life works is risky but needed. It makes you see the world with much clearer eyes so you don’t get too invested in it as if it is fact. Its a contradiction and I realize that. I say its better to stay in jail yet this post is about leaving it. Me, as well as my blog and others than I read are not looking for right or wrong in this case. I am just looking for the “Is”. Not everybody can have this knowledge and seek this path but, their are people that people that need to in order to keep the system from completely taking over. It seem like it can never happen but as you watch the world these days you will be hard press to find any real true freedom of speech being said. Leaving as I said is hard, but I am glad I can build my own steps and also help people build there own towards the exit of the game. The struggle to stay is tempting, yet the pain of what could have been is even more worse. Bceause as you see towards the end of this last video I am going to post, when its all over everybody looks for something else to give their attention to. The only person that has your back  in the end is yourself. It sucks but, at least you wont have to worry about yourself stabbing you in the back.

Good afternoon, good evening, and good bye. 







Categories: Philosophical

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